


halloween (v)i

by HyperchaoticStarlight (MVPYurio)



Series: i'll be around for you [21]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: ADD/ADHD Tony Stark, Avengers Family, Avengers Tower, Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) References, Family Bonding, Halloween, How Do I Tag, Inspired by Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Multi, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Peter Parker & Shuri Friendship, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Team as Family, Vision is a Good Bro (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug, don't worry the feels only last like two seconds, it's a halloween heist, it's a halloween heist y'all!, really everyone is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 17:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16479407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MVPYurio/pseuds/HyperchaoticStarlight
Summary: Hey friends, Lia here!So this was a month in the making. Quite frankly, I didn't think that I would be able to pull it off at first. A whole ass Halloween Heist, with all of the plot twists and jumping from character to character and all of the individual schemes? And not to mention, James doesn't know anything about Brooklyn Nine-Nine, so they couldn't co-write it with me. TL;DR: I didn't think I could manage it... and yet, here we are.I couldn't have made this happen without help from some amazing people, though. So before we begin, a huge thank you to:-Rose/Caleb/Roleb/Rolb/Calbfor ideas and expertise (turns out writing heists and being a Dungeon Master have similar skill sets!)-fictionalllifefor ideas, betareading, hugs, and tea (and for listening to me talk about this thing non-fucking-stopin real life).- The Scienceshipping and Biron Man servers, as led byQueen Bee, for listening to me infodump about this and other Marvel-ous matters. Special shoutout to the 13 folks in the Scienceshipping server who tried to guess who was going to win the heist! I'll be declaring the winners (or rather, the amazing humans/geniuses) in the end-notes.- My English professor, for giving us a whole class period of freewriting time.- The "Yeah Yeah I Know" Squad (you know who you are) for... well, for existing.- And of courseJames, my co-writer and little sibling, for almost everything mentioned above. You may not have helped me write this one, but you have been a part of this series from day one. Oh, and thanks for taking the lead on this series while I try and do NaNo.All of you people are so amazing and I love all of you. Thank you again.–Lia <3





	halloween (v)i

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CallMeCaptainOrSir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallMeCaptainOrSir/gifts), [whichlights](https://archiveofourown.org/users/whichlights/gifts), [Trammel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trammel/gifts), [TiredScienceBro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiredScienceBro/gifts), [beemotionpicture](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beemotionpicture/gifts).



> Hey friends, Lia here!
> 
> So this was a month in the making. Quite frankly, I didn't think that I would be able to pull it off at first. A whole ass Halloween Heist, with all of the plot twists and jumping from character to character and all of the individual schemes? And not to mention, James doesn't know anything about Brooklyn Nine-Nine, so they couldn't co-write it with me. TL;DR: I didn't think I could manage it... and yet, here we are.
> 
> I couldn't have made this happen without help from some amazing people, though. So before we begin, a huge thank you to:  
> \- [Rose/Caleb/Roleb/Rolb/Calb](https://genderfluid-loki.tumblr.com/) for ideas and expertise (turns out writing heists and being a Dungeon Master have similar skill sets!)  
> \- [fictionalllife](https://fictionalllife.tumblr.com//) for ideas, betareading, hugs, and tea (and for listening to me talk about this thing non-fucking-stop _in real life_ ).  
> \- The Scienceshipping and Biron Man servers, as led by [Queen Bee](https://flytling.tumblr.com//), for listening to me infodump about this and other Marvel-ous matters. Special shoutout to the 13 folks in the Scienceshipping server who tried to guess who was going to win the heist! I'll be declaring the winners (or rather, the amazing humans/geniuses) in the end-notes.  
> \- My English professor, for giving us a whole class period of freewriting time.  
> \- The "Yeah Yeah I Know" Squad (you know who you are) for... well, for existing.  
> \- And of course [James](https://themagicmicrobus.tumblr.com//), my co-writer and little sibling, for almost everything mentioned above. You may not have helped me write this one, but you have been a part of this series from day one. Oh, and thanks for taking the lead on this series while I try and do NaNo.
> 
> All of you people are so amazing and I love all of you. Thank you again.
> 
> –Lia <3

“Here are the rules,” Tony announced. “We will be playing for this trophy. The object of the game is to have it in your possession at midnight.”

“As you can see, the trophy is inscribed with the words  _ Amazing Avenger/Genius, _ ” Bruce added. “At the end of the game, we are all obliged to loudly and publicly declare that the winner is, in fact, an amazing Avenger-slash-genius.”

“Wait, hold on,” said Peter. “Does that mean that if I win, I become an Avenger?”

“Well, you’re not  _ going _ to win,” said Tony, “but in the unlikely event that you somehow manage to win, the ‘Avenger’ title will be honorary.”

“Sorry, but your aunt told us that if we let you be an Avenger before you turned eighteen, she would kill us both,” said Bruce.

“Yeah, sounds about right,” Peter muttered. “Hey, hold on, how come you don’t think I can win?”

“Anyone in this room at this moment is eligible to play,” Tony continued. “Informal alliances are allowed, but will not be recognized by the trophy. Whoever is holding the trophy at midnight wins, and only that person will be declared an amazing Avenger-slash genius. Which reminds me, in order to win, the trophy must physically be in your hand, so if you get it early and hide it, you must retrieve it from the hiding spot before midnight.”

“Who ordered the trophy?” Peter asked. “And more importantly, are there duplicates?”

“I did,” JARVIS chimed in. “I did not order any duplicate trophies. The only trophy is the one Mr. Stark is holding.”

“There’s no rule saying you can’t make a duplicate on the fly, though,” said Tony. “Really, any shenanigans goes.”

“However, to ensure a definitive winner, if nobody has the genuine trophy at midnight, JARVIS will locate it and ship it to Clint Barton, whom we all must declare the winner and an amazing Avenger-slash-genius, despite the fact that he’s in his secret house and not playing,” said Bruce. “So basically, do whatever you want, but make sure you have the real one at the end. No ‘no-one won the heist’ crap.”

“So you  _ are  _ caught up!” Peter exclaimed.

“Damn right we are,” said Tony.

“I’ve been trying to keep you from getting spoiled all this time for  _ nothing. _ ”

“Pretty much.”

“Jerks.”

“Okay, can we get back to the point?” Natasha asked irritably. “So is there any ‘shenanigans’ that  _ isn’t _ allowed?”

“Try not to murder anyone,” said Bruce. “Besides that, not really.”

“The trophy will be placed on that very precarious shelf,” said Tony, motioning to a wooden square suspended from the ceiling. “Anyone who destroys my ceiling trying to retrieve it will be disqualified immediately.”

“Damn it,” Natasha muttered.

“I’m gonna kill you, Romanoff.”

~~~~

Peter was more than just a little annoyed, okay?

Yeah, okay, he got it, he was only seventeen and not officially an Avenger, and he wasn’t exactly a master of subtlety. Winning a heist against the other Avengers was a bit of a stretch.

But come  _ on!  _ He had seen every Halloween Heist episode  _ at least  _ six times. He knew exactly how they worked and how to win them. And as far as he knew, only Tony and Bruce even  _ watched  _ Brooklyn Nine-Nine. What made everyone think that he couldn’t win?

Okay, so maybe Tony was the only person who had said he couldn’t win. And maybe that was why he was really frustrated.

He flopped down on his bed—even after two months of having his own room in the Tower, that was weird to say—and pulled out his phone. Maybe texting Ned and MJ would help him calm down.

**[[it is wednesday my dudes]]**

it is wednesday my dudes

**Ned:** **  
** aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaAAAAAHHHH

**MJ:** **  
** AAAAAAAaaAAAAaAAAAAAAAAAH

aAAAAaaAAaAAAAaAAaAAAAAAAHHHHH   
Ughhhh you guys, the Avengers are doubting me again

**Ned:** **  
** What are they doing??

So we’re doing a Halloween heist, yeah?

**Ned:** **  
** !!!! Whose idea was that????

Mr Stark and I each thought of it   
But I was the one who actually suggested it   
Y’know. Covertly

**Ned:** ****  
Ofc   
In true b99 style   
Everything must be covert

Anyway   
They think I can’t win   
Well   
Mr Stark thinks I can’t win   
And I’m super annoyed

**MJ:** **  
** This wouldn’t be a problem if his opinion weren’t the only one that matters to you…

I KNOW, MJ   
LEAVE ME ALONE

**Ned:** **  
** Well, what are you going to do?

**MJ:** ****  
Win the heist. Stick it to them.   
Prove they’re all dumb.

Yeah, but how?

**Ned:** ****  
In the truest of B99 fashion   
Having a shitton of random people storm the Tower   
So you can sneak in someone who can help you   
Like I dunno   
Your best friends

**MJ:** **  
** I swear to God, Ned, if this is another ploy to get me into the tower

**Ned:** ****  
It’s absolutely another ploy to get you into the Tower   
Come on MJ it’s for our best friend

**MJ:** **  
** Who says Peter is my best friend

You did

**Ned:** **  
** You did

You did, like a month ago

**MJ:** ****  
You got me there   
But I am not going into the tower

**Ned:** ****  
Yes you are   
We are going to help our best friend win this heist   
And then we’re going to have an actual heist   
And steal random shit from the Tower

NED NO

**MJ:** ****  
Ned yes   
I’m in

Okay, okay, fine   
I wanna win this   
… Gimme a sec   
There’s one more person I think could help us

 

**[[purpl3kitty2001]]**

**ME:** **  
** How fast can you get to New York?

**PURPL3KITTY2001:** ****  
Why? It’ll take a lot of arguing   
Is it urgent?

**ME:** **  
** Halloween heist in Avengers Tower

**PURPL3KITTY2001:**   
Give me five hours

~~~~

“So, what’s your plan?”

Tony whirled around to see that Bruce was leaning in the doorway.

“I’m not gonna tell you,” said Tony.

Bruce took a few steps into the lab. “Okay, listen. We can  _ cream  _ these guys if we work together. No one will see it coming.”

“Yeah, well, only one of us can win,” said Tony.

“Tell you what,” said Bruce. “We work together. Whoever wins, wins. The other person gets to decide what we do for our next date night. Start to finish.”

Tony smirked devilishly. “Then I guess I just might have to help you get that trophy, Doc.”

Bruce returned the wicked grin. “You just might.”

~~~~

“Okay,  _ fine, _ we can have an informal alliance.” Bucky rolled his eyes. He’d forgotten that Steve was capable of arguing for well over an hour if he wanted to. “For a little while, so we have a chance against Banner and Stark. But don’t say I didn’t warn you when I kick your ass to get that trophy.”

Steve threw one arm around Bucky’s shoulders and the other around Sam’s. “This’ll be great!” he said brightly. “We’ll be unstoppable.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Yeah, whatever, Cap.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Steve asked.

“For now, just guard the shelf,” said Bucky. “So far, nobody has swiped the trophy. Keep an eye on it, and if someone nabs it, trail ‘em.”

“Got it,” said Steve.

“Hey, before you go…” Bucky extended his arms. “C’mere.”

“Awwww,” Steve crooned. “I was worried you’d stopped caring.”

“I couldn’t do that,” said Bucky, pulling Steve in for a kiss.

They pulled apart a few seconds later. “Okay, you gotta go right now,” said Bucky. “For all we know, Natasha’s got the trophy already.” Steve saluted and ran off.

“You did something, didn’t you,” said Sam.

“Stuck a tracker on him,” said Bucky. “He won’t make any grabs for the trophy if he thinks he’s working with one of us, but he’ll keep the trophy away from everyone else. Keep an eye on him, pretend like he’s helping, and then you and I can play this thing for real.”

Sam nodded approvingly. “You’re going  _ down, _ Barnes.”

“You wish.”

~~~~

Natasha had a plan, and it was a damn good one, because it involved something absolutely none of the others had: patience.

It was simple. She already knew that Bucky had put a tracker on Steve, who would be watching the trophy like a hawk, and that it wouldn’t be difficult to take that tracker off of Steve and put it onto the trophy itself. Then all she would have to do was hack into the tracker and follow the trophy until just before midnight.

Step one: move the tracker.

She stepped gracefully into the conference room and up to steve. “Hey there, Cap,” she said. “Guarding that trophy reeeeal well, huh?”

“Sizing me up, Romanoff?” Steve asked. “I think I can take you.”

“Maybe,” she said.  _ There—on his left shoulder. Perfect.  _ She patted Steve’s back, snatching the tracker in her fingers.  _ Now to get it on the trophy… _

Well, she could just be obvious about it.

She leapt up and grabbed the trophy off of the shelf. “Sure about that, Rogers?”

“Hey!” Steve protested. “You give that back!”

As Steve made a grab for her, Natasha spun around and stuck the tracker into the cup of the trophy.  _ Perfect. Now to look like I’ve screwed up… _

She turned around and smacked directly into Steve. “Crap,” she muttered. “Okay, okay, you win. I’ll leave now.”

“Yeah,” said Steve. He put the trophy back on the shelf. “You really thought you could take me, huh?”

“Yeah, yeah, you got me. But, hey, you should probably know…”

“Yeah?”

“Looks like that trophy’s floating away on you.” She pointed to the doorway that led to the kitchen, where Wanda was indeed crouching and pulling the trophy towards her.

“Hey!” Steve shouted. “You come back here, you little—”

~~~~

“Oh, there you are,” said Tony. “Okay, so here’s what I’ve got. I was thinking, y’know those retro-reflective panels that SHIELD puts on their helicarrier?”

“Yeah?” said Bruce.

“I was thinking, I’m going to make a really tiny Iron Man suit, out of those, and it’s going to retrieve the trophy and hide it in a box that also is made of those panels. Trophy vanishes into thin air, and my cute little robot makes its way back to my lab.” Tony grinned triumphantly. “Great plan, right?”

“I take it the suit can fly and walk and move around just like any of the others?” Bruce asked.

“Absolutely. And Princess Shuri sent me her files on sound-absorbing technology months ago. I’m pretty sure I can replicate it so the little guy won’t make any noise.”

“And you’re really sold on calling this thing cute and little?” Tony pouted. “I’m kidding. That sounds great, babe. Y’know…”

“What?” Tony asked.

“I bet you could reuse that somehow. Miniature invisible suits with invisible boxes? Sounds like a great way to transport things covertly. Food, supplies, you name it.”

“You’re right,” Tony mused. “Hm.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” said Bruce. “I’m gonna do some quick recon, and I’ll come back, alright?”

“Yeah, okay,” said Tony, but Bruce could tell he was barely paying attention.

_ Perfect. _

“Love you,” Bruce said sweetly, dropping a kiss on Tony’s head.

“You too!”

As soon as Bruce was out of the room, Tony grabbed the nearest tablet and began sketching a modification of his design, that he could use to deliver food to homeless people. Or to anyone, really. Starving kids abroad. Oh, or he could bring clean water to those poor people in Michigan. Actually, he really did need to handle that whole situation. How had he not thought of that before? Of course, just giving the city a few million dollars wouldn’t work; the city would just use it for something else. He’d have to go there and redo the water system himself. Hmm, now how would he go about  _ that… _

~~~~

“Fucking asshole,” Wanda muttered as she locked her bedroom door. She had just levitated the trophy towards her and was about to grab it, but then  _ someone  _ had to throw his  _ giant colorful metal dinner plate  _ at her, knocking her over and breaking her concentration.

Well, his super reflexes may have been enough to steal the trophy, but they weren’t enough to protect the wall from a massive, unmistakable dent. It would only be a few hours before either Stark or Banner noticed and karma would be served.

But until then, she had to figure out how to get the trophy—

“Oh for Christ’s sake, Vis, just use the door like a normal person!”

A glowing yellow outline appeared on the wall. Moments later, Vision phased into her room.

“I knocked first,” he said in lieu of a hello.

Wanda let out a long, deep sigh. “You’re supposed to knock on the  _ door. _ Not on a  _ random wall.  _ Why is this so complicated?”

“I still don’t understand the difference.”

“Just trust me that there is one,” said Wanda.

“Is that the only reason you’re frustrated?” Vision asked, sitting on the bed next to Wanda.

“Cap threw his shield at me,” she said. “I was so close to getting the trophy, and he threw his shield at me.”

“Is this that game that Tony started?”

“Yes,” Wanda muttered.

“This is why I chose not to play,” said Vision.

“No, you chose not to play because you’re no fun,” Wanda teased. She gave Vision’s shoulder a slight nudge before leaning against him. “I’ll get the trophy back, somehow.”

Vision rolled his eyes before leaning into Wanda’s touch. “I hate to suggest it, because I know it’s sensitive, but if you really wanted to win…”

“I thought about it,” Wanda admitted. “But… it’s not worth it. Not for a dumb game.”

“Fair enough,” said Vision. “Do you think it ever will be worth it?”

Wanda shook her head. “Using my powers…  _ like that…  _ makes me sick inside, just thinking…” She sighed quietly. “I got people killed. Lots of people. I’d like to not kill anyone again.”

Her head dropped to rest against Vision’s chest, bowed just slightly in contemplation. Vision tangled his fingers into her hair.

“Maybe someday,” Wanda began, “maybe, if I can figure out—”

“You don’t have to,” said Vision. “There’s only one thing you need to figure out.”

“What’s that?”

“How to get back that trophy. Perhaps I might be able to assist you.”

Wanda cracked a smile. “Let’s do it.”

~~~~

Steve snickered to himself as he ran down the hallway, clutching the trophy. He wasn’t sure where Bucky or Sam was, but hey, he could probably hold onto the trophy until he saw one of them again. The look on Wanda’s face when he threw his shield at her. Absolutely priceless. Hopefully Tony and Bruce wouldn’t be too mad that he had dented their—

“What the—” Steve blinked a few times. He had been down this hallway a thousand times and there wasn’t a wall for at least another thousand feet. There certainly wasn’t a giant… green…

“Well, that’s a strategy,” he said, laughing nervously. “Hey there, Hulk.”

Hulk stuck out an expectant hand and growled at Steve.

“Okay, okay, jeez.” Steve handed over the trophy and began to walk away. “Have a nice day, I guess.”

Hulk smirked as Steve disappeared around the corner before transforming effortlessly, walking back to his bedroom, and locking the door. That was  _ way _ too easy.

~~~~

“Hey, Barnes, it looks like Cap got himself locked in Banner’s room.”

“Lemme see.” Bucky walked over to Sam’s laptop. Sure enough, the signal from the tracker was pinging from inside Bruce’s room. “We sure it’s locked?”

“I can’t imagine Banner wouldn’t lock it,” said Sam. “But hang on. JARVIS, are you there?”

“Good afternoon, Mr. Wilson,” said JARVIS. “I must warn you, Mr. Stark has blocked my ability to share most information about others’ whereabouts for the duration of the heist.”

“Can you tell us whether Banner’s door is locked or not?” Sam asked.

“I can confirm that Dr. Banner’s door is currently locked,” JARVIS replied.

“Great. Thanks, JARVIS.”

“Of course, Mr. Wilson.”

“Well, that puts Cap out of commission,” said Sam. “Back to playing like normal people?”

“You bet,” said Bucky. “You’re going down, Wilson.”

~~~~

“Aww, Steve,” Natasha cooed as she watched Steve through a grate in the ceiling. “Still scared of the Hulk, huh?”

Just then, her phone vibrated.

**[[Hottest Pepper]]**

Why am I getting a security alert that someone is hiding in the ceiling of the Tower?

U have those?

Seeing as Tony insists on keeping company things in his bathroom, yes.

Fair enough   
I may be hiding in the ceiling

…    
Do I want to know?

Halloween heist   
I’m monitoring the trophy so I can steal it

I swear, everyone who comes near Tony turns into an overgrown child.

Love u too babe

So, what’s your plan?

U wanna know?!

Of course.   
I need to know how you’re going to beat Tony.

Well then   
Bucky put a tracker on Steve   
I moved the tracker from Steve to the trophy   
Now I’m following it   
Thru the vents   
Until the perfect moment to take it

Why not just grab the trophy now and hide with it in the vents?

Bc it’s more fun this way

I’m sure it is.   
That being said, if Tony wins, I will never forgive you.

Don’t worry babe   
I promise I’ll win for us

You’d better. I have to go now.   
Apparently, no one on the Board has children, as we are meeting on Halloween.

Have fun hon <3

I’ll try.

~~~~

“Okay, here’s the plan,” said Wanda. “Banner is about to leave his room to check on Stark in the lab and make sure he’s still distracted. As soon as he leaves, you’re going to phase through the wall and grab the trophy.”

“Got it,” said Vision. “On your signal, then?”

Wanda nodded. “Looks like he’s leaving—okay, he’s gone. Go get it.”

Moments later, Vision emerged from the wall, holding the trophy.

“Nice work,” said Wanda, taking the trophy from Vision. “Hey, look, there’s a tracker in here.”

“Let me see?” Vision asked. Wanda removed the tracker and handed it to Vision. “Hm. Not the best quality. I’m sure that Natasha, Peter, and Tony have all tapped into it, but someone else made it. Also…” He turned the tracker over. “The bottom has blue fabric remnants on it. Someone planted this on someone else’s body, and then it was removed and placed inside the trophy.”

“Steve had a blue shirt on today,” said Wanda. “That means Bucky probably made it. Do you think Steve noticed and put it inside the trophy?”

“Probably not,” said Vision. “He probably doesn’t know he was ever being tracked. And if he did, he knows he’s not competent enough with technology to hack the tracker. Putting it inside the trophy would give Bucky the upper hand.”

“Unless he thinks he and Bucky are cooperating,” said Wanda.

“That’s possible,” Vision mused. “Either way, a lot of people are following this tracker. We should remove it.”

Wanda nodded. “Great idea.”

~~~~

Bucky and Wanda both had trauma from everything they’d been through with HYDRA, but the way they responded to that trauma could not be more different.

For Wanda, her powers was a sore spot. The memories of what she had done with them were so strong that they incapacitated her, preventing her from using them even harmlessly. To her, using her powers was a reminder of her choice to engage in villainy.

On the other hand, Bucky enjoyed using his assassin training and enhanced abilities for fun. It was its own sort of middle finger to HYDRA, a way of reclaiming the talents that they had forced upon him and using them for something other than blatant evil.

Which is why Bucky had no issue hiding in the shadows as Wanda and Vision hid the trophy behind a heating grate, hitting them each in the head with his metal arm, breaking off the grate, stealing the trophy back, and taking off.

Hey, what good were those decades being brainwashed by Nazis, if he couldn’t have some fun afterwards?

It took a few minutes for Wanda and Vision to both recuperate, and by the time they did, Bucky was long gone.

“Damn it,” said Wanda.

“Hang on,” said Vision. “Do you hear something?”

Wanda rubbed her head. “Yeah… yeah… I think it’s coming from the living room. Music, I think.”

“Let’s go see what it is,” said Vision. “Bucky’s long gone with the trophy, so we may as well.”

Sure enough, the music was coming from the living room, but as soon as Wanda and Vision entered, they stopped caring.

After all, the teenagers with takeout bags pouring into the room were a far more pressing issue.

“Holy shit,” said Wanda. “There’s gotta be, what, thirty of them?”

“And counting,” Vision replied. “They’re still coming in.”

Within minutes, most of the other Avengers had entered, having heard the music. “Who’s doing this?” Sam asked. “Who brought them in?”

“It doesn’t matter; it’s a diversion!” Natasha shouted. “I have a tracker on the trophy, and it’s on the move!” She made her way through the crowd and went to one of the doors leading out of the living room. “What the—It’s locked!”

Sam and Steve ran towards her. “Well, hack it open!” said Sam. “You can do that, right?”

“Yeah, but it’ll take a minute.”

Bruce stood on a chair and gave a loud whistle. The room fell silent. “Everyone with a takeout bag, put it down somewhere and leave! Thank you!”

“C’mon, Nat, you can do it,” Steve encouraged. “Get the door open!”

“I’m trying—oh!” The door swung open. “There we go. Oh, shit, whoever has the trophy has a massive head start. We have to move.” She handed her phone to Steve. “You’re the fastest. Stay on the tracker. We’ll be right behind you.”

“Got it.” He began to run, Sam and Natasha as close to in tow as they could make it.

“It’s headed towards Peter’s room!” Steve called.

“Of course,” Natasha muttered. “Little shit wasn’t in the room when all those kids came in. He must’ve called them—wait, Steve, why did you stop?”

“I caught up to it,” said Steve. “Come look.”

Sam and Natasha ran up to him, breathing heavily. “What the—”

Sitting in front of them was a little robot.

“Look,” said Natasha, turning it over. “The tracker’s right here. Someone must’ve taken the tracker off of the trophy and put it onto this little robot—”

It hit all three of them at the exact same time.

_ “Tony.” _

“He’s probably in his lab,” said Natasha.

“Not his bedroom?” Steve asked.

“Bruce can get in there,” Natasha reminded him. “This late in the game, there’s no way Tony has it hidden in there. He’s in his lab. Let’s go.”

It took them nearly fifteen minutes to get to Tony’s lab, and the door, naturally, was locked.

“Hack like you’ve never hacked before, Nat,” said Steve.

“Trust me, I will,” said Natasha. “Pepper will kill me if he wins.”

“And we’re sure he’s in here?” Sam asked.

“He’s gotta be,” Natasha said firmly. “He wouldn’t risk bringing the trophy out until the very last minute. Now shut up and let me concentrate—oh… uhhh, hi, Tony.”

“What the hell, Romanoff?”

“We know you have the trophy,” said Sam. “Hand it over, Stark.”

“The—” Tony blinked a few times. “Oh,  _ shit.  _ I completely forgot about the heist. What time is it?”

“Nearly midnight, and what do you mean, you forgot about the heist?”

“... I got distracted trying to solve a humanitarian crisis.”

“Usually I’d call bullshit, but that sounds like you,” said Natasha. “But that means—who stole your robot?”

_ “Someone stole one of my robots?!” _

“Okay, he’s not going to be helpful,” said Sam. “Let’s go.”

“Wait!” said Tony. “Only two people have access—”

In all likelihood, Tony had just said the names of whoever had access to his lab, but the others couldn’t hear him, as yet more music—“Celebration” by Kool and the Gang—was now pouring through the speakers.

“Someone’s won!” Tony shouted over the noise. “I programmed JARVIS to play this song at midnight if someone had the trophy!”

_ “Attention, all Avengers. The Halloween Heist is over. Please proceed to the living room.” _

“Let’s go,” said Steve.

They all went back to the living room and were met with the sight of Peter Parker, standing on a table, trophy held aloft. Ned and MJ were standing on either side of him, and just behind him—

“Peter, why is Princess Shuri on my couch?”

“Because he couldn’t have won without me,” Shuri deadpanned, staring at her phone.

“I really couldn’t have,” said Peter. “Thanks.” He grinned at the Avengers. “Wanna hear how I—that is, how  _ we _ did it?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be a heist without a monologue,” Tony sighed. “Go ahead, kid.”

Peter’s grin grew even wider. “Well, first of all, I knew I would need supplies, so I trailed Bruce when he went into your lab while he convinced you to work with him. While the two of you were talking, I snuck over to where you keep all of my suit prototypes, and I grabbed your newest one—the one with Stealth Mode.”

“How did I miss you leaving?” Bruce asked. “I believe you that you trailed me in, but how did you get out?”

“Through his lab,” Tony realized. “Peter and my labs are connected, so we can go back and forth when we need to, but Peter also has his own way in and out.”

“Exactly,” said Peter. “I went back into my room and changed into the new suit. Now that nobody could see or hear me, I could sneak around and find out what everyone’s plans were. I have to admit, I got a little lucky when I heard Bucky tell Sam that he put a tracker on Steve. I was wondering how I would get the tracker off of Steve and on the trophy—”

“—But I did that for you,” said Natasha. “I moved the tracker.”

“You sure did,” said Peter. “Thanks for that, by the way. So anyway, I hid on the ceiling while Natasha moved the tracker, and then watched Wanda and Steve fight for it. And at that point, I realized that sooner or later, everyone would be following that tracker, so it needed to go. Luckily for me, I ran into—”

“Me,” Vision finished. “You asked me why I wasn’t playing.”

“I knew that you didn’t know about the tracker, since you weren’t playing, but if I could get you to steal the trophy, you would definitely find the tracker and remove it. So we walked and talked, and I just happened to lead you to where you usually barge into Wanda’s room. I stuck around just long enough to see you go into her room, and sure enough, a little while later, I saw both of you come out of Bruce’s room and take out the tracker. As soon as you were gone, I grabbed the tracker, deactivated it, moved it a few feet down the hallway, and turned it back on again.”

“Why did you move it?” Steve asked.

“While I was on the ceiling, I heard movement, so I knew Natasha was up there. I figured she was tapped into the tracker, so I needed the tracker to be somewhere where there wasn’t a grate nearby—so she wouldn’t know the tracker had been removed from the trophy.”

“Fair enough,” said Natasha. “I really didn’t have any idea it had been moved. Well done.”

“And at that point, I actually lost you,” said Peter. “By the time I had hidden the tracker, I had no idea where you went or if the trophy had been stolen again. Luckily for me, it didn’t matter, because I knew I would find it again in a couple hours. All I had to do was nail my next strike, so I set off to do that. First step: sneak back into Tony’s lab and kidnap one of his robots. Once I had the bot, I went back to where I’d hidden the tracker, put the tracker inside the robot, and programmed it to head towards my room on my signal. And by that point, six hours had passed since the heist started, so I left Avengers Tower to have a little meeting with my helpers.” He motioned to Ned, MJ, and Shuri.

“Six hours?” Steve asked.

“That’s how long Shuri said it would take to get here from Wakanda. Anyway, we met, and the plan was simple: We spent about thirty minutes calling forty-seven restaurants with the Tower in their delivery range and placed an order to arrive at exactly 11:00 PM. After that, Shuri gave me some schematics I needed, and then we split up. Ned, MJ, and Shuri each went to one of the places we didn’t order from, placed a  _ takeout  _ order that they could pick up, and bought a t-shirt from the restaurant. Meanwhile, I went to the nearest CVS to buy three pairs of reading glasses. I brought those glasses back to my lab and spent the next five hours using Shuri’s schematics to replace the lenses with ones that could connect to the visor in my suit. I finished the glasses and got them to the others just in the nick of time. 11:00 on the dot, in true Brooklyn Nine-Nine fashion, fifty different people flooded the Tower—forty-seven actual delivery drivers, and three fake delivery drivers wearing restaurant t-shirts and holding takeout orders. I was hiding on the ceiling, watching—oh, and playing loud music so you all would come into the room.”

“Should’ve known that was you,” Bruce muttered. “That song—”

“—Yeah, in hindsight, playing ‘Despacito’ was a little obvious.”

“Told you,” Shuri muttered.

“Watching for what?” Sam asked.

“Well, I knew that as soon as you all realized someone was causing a diversion, everyone would make a beeline for where they thought the trophy was. I was assuming that Natasha would follow the tracker; Bucky and Sam would either follow the tracker or be in complete disarray, depending on whether they had clued into the fact that Natasha had taken the tracker off of Steve or not; Steve would follow Bucky or Sam; Bruce would go back to his room; and Wanda and Vision would go back to wherever they had hid the trophy when I lost track of them. Any deviation from that pattern would tell me where the trophy was—or at the very least, narrow down the possibilities. Of course, it would be difficult to see who was going where when the room was full of delivery drivers. It’s a good thing that, while I was working on the Shuri specs, my helpers were busy as well.”

“I was busy,” Ned corrected. “MJ and Shuri went on a date.”

“That was a date?” both girls asked simultaneously.

“Ladies, I hate to break it to you, but you’re holding hands,” Peter deadpanned. “Anyway, while the girls went on their date, Ned was working on a little virus that would temporarily send JARVIS into a lockdown.”

“You hacked JARVIS?!” Tony almost shouted.

_ “No,” _ Peter said emphatically.

“It didn’t give me any sort of access,” Ned added. “All it did was spook JARVIS a little bit, so he would lock all of the doors in the front living room.”

“That way, the delivery people could clear out and I could see where everyone was going,” Peter finished. “Once I could tell who was going where, I assigned each of my helpers to trail one person.”

“But there were way too many of us for each of you to trail,” said Sam.

“Yeah, but there was a group of you I knew I didn’t need to follow,” said Peter. “The people who were following the tracker. Remember that little bot I put the tracker in? I signaled it to start rolling towards my room—and, just as I expected, Sam, Natasha, and Steve all followed it.”

“And then we caught up to it, realized the trophy wasn’t there, realized it was one of Tony’s robots, and raced to the lab to blame him,” said Natasha. “So while we were all trying to get into Tony’s lab, you and the others trailed the people who knew the tracker was a red herring.”

“It was a risky strategy,” said Peter. “By the time all of the delivery people had cleared out and I was able to set off the bot and give everyone their assignments, we only had thirty minutes to find the trophy and bring it back to the living room. I had Shuri trail Bucky, MJ trail Wanda and Vision, and Ned and I trailed Bruce. Shuri found the trophy, stole it from Bucky, told us all to come back, and I got back to the living room and took the trophy from her with one minute to spare. By the time folks realized the trophy wasn’t where they expected it to be and got back to the living room to steal it back…” Peter held the trophy aloft, grinning. “I’d already won.”

“Hang on,” said Tony. “How did you know I’d be in my lab?”

“Why were you thinking about the Flint water crisis?” Peter asked.

“Because we were—oh.”

“I started that conversation with you yesterday so you’d have it on the brain,” said Peter. “And then I casually teased you about being distractible in front of Bruce, and how if you thought you could build something to save the world, you’d drop everything and do it.”

“It wouldn’t be a heist without manipulation,” said Tony. “Well done.”

“I think you have something to say to me,” said Peter.

“We do,” said Tony. “Everyone?”

_ “Peter Parker is an amazing human-slash-genius,”  _ everyone said at the same time, with varying degrees of resentment.

“That really was clever,” said Tony. “Well done, kid.”

“Thanks,” said Peter.

“Well, unless my eyes are mistaken, there is a whole lot of food around us,” said Shuri. “Anyone want to open some of these takeout boxes and eat?”

“Hell yeah,” said Peter. “I’m fucking starving.”

“Peter,” Tony reprimanded, and then he smirked. “Cap doesn’t like cursing.”

“TONY, I SWEAR TO GOD—”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey folks! Lia here again! Well, there we have it! A whole fucking Halloween Heist! What did y'all think? Did I nail it?
> 
> There were two winners of my challenge in the Scienceshipping server (i.e. two people successfully predicted that Peter would win), so, as promised: **Amber ([Tumblr](https://just-banner.tumblr.com/) • [Ao3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pourmyselfoverhim/pseuds/Tired%20Science%20Bro)) and Miranda [(Ao3)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trammel/pseuds/Trammel) are amazing humans/geniuses!** Well done, you two!
> 
> As mentioned earlier, James is going to take the lead on this series for the next month, as I'm going to be trying to do NaNoWriMo! (Thanks again, James!)
> 
> Well, bye for now!
> 
> ~~~
> 
> This series is brought to you by Lia (she/her, HyperchaoticStarlight) and James (they/them, TheMagicMicrobus). We try to update about every 2 weeks. However, we are both students (Lia is in college; James is in high school), and so we cannot promise perfection.
> 
> Find Lia on Tumblr @ hyperchaoticstarlight, marvel-at-these-gays, scienceshipping, and tinytonys.  
> Find James on Tumblr @ themagicmicrobus and morethanhumantogether.
> 
> If you have ideas for this series, please feel free to reach out to one of us and we will consider putting it in!


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